Questions and Answer...

Lots of days of unable to sleep makes me think of a lot of things...

things that had happen a long time ago, or recently... everything that reminds me of something...

so recent things, the most recent would be the fight with Jason i think. That changed me a lot or at least started a change. It suddenly reminded me of something that I never really thought of before. It remind me to look at myself before blaming others. By keeping the fault to myself, I may resolve such issue and preventing them from becoming big. Like Jacky says, 退一步，海阔天空； 忍一时，风平浪静...

Then funny things like Jacky trying to get me into trouble with girls...

That is some serious stuff, I mean, I prefer to take boy girl relationship more seriously now... how much a like/love a girl depends greatly on how much I know her and how much I think both of us can stick together. I don't want to like a girl just because she is pretty, I must know that we can really be together or at least I can try to suit her. Jacky himself has some target but then I am stuck between two...

Then he tries to do some much to get me closer to them, I some times wonder why...

Then comes to the most recent thing which just happened yesterday and the QNA started today or just awhile ago.

I finally confirm Ida's target! XD...

But then I seem to question why she do not take action and all those. But then, today, I notice I myself did not take much initiative to try to know more about one of the two girls... Ida gave me some suggestion and yes, I think I should start something before its too late.

Last night while swimming with Jacky, Ida and Xiao Han, the two girls and even Jacky mentioned about girls waiting too long for a guy and finally giving up on him because they waited too long. I want to make sure that never happen again. I just need one of those experience not another one... I kind of miss the feeling of loving and taking caring of a girl that I love... making her feel happy and save... pampering her... those are feeling that have long gone after that relationship end... It never really came back to me after I broke up with Jasmine...

Then it goes all the way back to my birthday... (which is only two days ago =.=)

Many of the mail a receive were birthday wishes but one of them came with something more. It brings back good and bad memories. and it reminds me that I need my body back... I need my skills back... I need to get back on track, I am 19 now...

About a month back, another feeling that I have missed for a long time... one that I can hard get...

Jing Yang cut his head big time, 3-4s were needed but the doctor gave 2 which caused him some problem... The normal first aid jobs like asthma, cram, hurt, cut has lose my interest a long long long long time ago, after that duty which got my whole hands in other people blood, the sensation will never leave me, I can never forget that, the feeling that, I am a medic, here to save lives! Not a first aider here to wrap you up but I am here to keep you alive... Then that day, someone hit his nose really bad. Blood came out of it without stopping, there were no proper things to hold his head in position and clean his mouth of the blood. So I used my bare hands, seconds later, blood from his mouth and nose filled my hands and I actually felt good...

I missed to feeling of blood, I feel like I am crazy for blood... not that I enjoy seeing people bleed but the feeling is too good to resist. OK, I am starting to sound crazy... My officers should understand what I meant.

Then it goes back all the way to secondary school.


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What happens when your squad gets pin down, the captain is shot and the vice is shock? what is your job as a CFM?
get the captain up and running, slap the sense out of the vice!

What is the first thing you do when you see someone is the pool drowning?
jump immediately unless I have tight pants on then remove and jump

What will you do if you find out that you squad member is planning to betray their country during a mission? trick question? just kill him right away What if the whole squad is planning to do so? Try to kill them all even if I had to die. You are loyal but stupid.

What if you are a sniper, you go all the way up a 800m place to assassinate an enemy secret agent and

see your best friend in the scope? (I will shot him)

your brother? (I will shot him but that is impossible) That is what you think.

me? (Sorry sir but I will have to kill you) Good

so now tell me then, what if you saw your girlfriend?

(Err... I will have to shot her...)

]

Who would be asked these questions? and who would answer it that way?

But the most important question I would like to ask her now is "Are you willing to be my girlfriend?"

But the question is who is the girl? Even I don't know that... And how fast must I make my decision? I am confused...